Charisma

 I genuinely wonder what is Charisma really is and how do we develop it. It's such an easy word to use but what does it really mean? Is it the same thing as charm? Is it something else? What exactly is charisma? I have seen people use the word so often but unfortunately I have not really seen how it's developed. Researchers at the University of Toronto charisma in terms of 2 factors : 

1. Influence : This is the ability of an individual to stay in the present. It's the presence of a particular individual that has a strong presence within a room. 

2. Affability: This trait was defined as being approachable and pleasant. So this are the 2 factors that contribute to charm.

Your total score of charisma is based on these metrics: 

1. Presence in the room

2. Has the ability to influence people around them

3. Knows how to lead a group

4. Makes people feel comfortable

5. Smiles at people often

6. Can get along with anyone. 

These are the 6 factors that they defined charisma around: 

1. Presence : This probably is the most important part when it comes to charisma. Whether you are sitting on a sofa, or just talking to people or just being there without having to talk or do anything, not thinking about the past or the future, that's how we develop our presence. Listening to what people talk to understand rather than just listening, ability to empathise with people, having the right knowledge to speak about a topic rather than being just randomly talking to people. I feel presence is something that can be worked on. Charismatic people are confident in what they speak and how they speak to the group.

2. Has the ability to influence people around them: This is also really nature to charismatic people with their presence. If you have developed presence, it's also easy to develop the ability to influence people around them. Whether that's for business or whether that's within a job or simply a group of friends, having charisma means that you have the ability to influence people.

3. Knows how to lead a group: I wouldn't say much over here, because I believe charismatic people are leaders that have a vision and people who make sure that everyone within the team walks on that vision. Communicating the vision and the why to the team can make you influential and also help you lead a group. 

4. Makes people feel comfortable: A lot of times we tend to make people less comfortable through our tone of voice or through our body language. People who are charismatic are welcoming to all different people and they make sure that everyone's comfortable while talking to them. This can be done by talking with a slower pace, making sure that the content is meaningful to the listener, etc. But what's important is that they make people feel comfortable. 

5. Smiles at people often: Those who are charismatic are not shy to smile at people. They shower their kindness and happiness to others and in spreading happiness they increase their own happiness as well. So be kind and have a smile on your face. 

6. Can get along with anyone: Firstly, they do not distinguish people based on race, caste, colour or gender. This makes them view everyone equally and that helps charismatic people to get along with anyone. That's the speciality of charismatic people, they will make you feel like the king of the world while you are talking to them that's the presence that they have developed. 

The next question is how do we develop all these things right? 

1. Mindfulness: Mindfulness means focusing on the task at hand right now and not worry too much about other stuff in life. In order to develop mindfulness, you can do meditation or deep breathing exercises thus making you self aware. Moreover, whenever your mind wanders to other things, try to bring it back to the present moment. Because remember it's very natural for your mind to go in the future or the past but make sure you have the responsibility to bring it back to the present moment.

2. Active Listening: Whenever you are listening, listen to understand not to respond. In order to do that, you need to have genuine interest in what others are saying. 

3. Eye Contact: Ideally one should have eye contact for about 60-70% of the conversation. A good way to practice this is in front of the mirror or with people that you are comfortable with when having a conversation.

4. Credibility: People are generally more trusting towards the ones that have proved their worth through consistency and reliability. In order to build trust and credibility, one needs to consistently prove their worth by matching action and words. 

5. Confidence: One really powerful way to develop confidence is through competence. Know your subject well enough and make sure you have in-depth knowledge about the topic that you are speaking about. 

Exercise: You can create simple exercises that can improve one of the skills in the top few ones. There are multiple exercises for active listening, for an example, one exercise would be to listen to a small video maybe a 10 minute video, listen to it and then write a summary of what you understood from that video and then see the blind spots. 10 min per day of exercise would improve your listening skills massively. Then for eye contact, there are some videos on YouTube that claim to help improve eye contact but just looking in the mirror and talking works for most of the cases. When it comes to confidence try and just understand things, have knowledge about a wide variety of things also helps. So keep it simple and keep doing the exercises daily in order to improve yourself. 

Remember, charisma is just ability to influence and being affable towards people. That's all charisma really is. Being able to influence and having the trait of being approachable and present.