Man ka hua toh accha hai, aur agar man ka na ho toh aur bhi accha hai

I was sitting in an airplane when an old lady next to me said, "Man ka hua toh accha hai, aur agar man ka na ho toh aur bhi accha hai": If things go as we desire, it's good; if they don’t, it’s even better.

This philosophy by Harivansh Rai Bachchan carries profound wisdom. It teaches us that life is not just about getting what we want, but about trusting the journey, even when things don’t unfold as we expect.

When Things Go Your Way: "Man ka hua toh accha"

We often associate happiness with things aligning with our wishes, getting that dream job, being with the person we love, achieving a long-desired goal. And when these things happen, we feel joy, success, and a sense of control. But this is only half the truth.

Life is not a straight path, and our desires are often shaped by our limited understanding of what’s truly good for us. What we wish for today may not serve us in the long run. Getting what we want is good, but it’s not the ultimate measure of happiness.

When Things Don’t Go Your Way: "Aur man ka na ho toh aur bhi accha"

This is where the real beauty of this thought unfolds. When things don’t go our way, we experience disappointment, heartbreak, or failure. However, in hindsight, we often realize that what seemed like a setback was actually a redirection.

  • Didn’t get the job? Maybe it wasn’t meant for you, and something better is on its way.

  • A relationship didn’t work out? Perhaps it wasn’t built to last, and the universe is making space for someone who will truly understand and cherish you.

  • Faced failure? It’s teaching you resilience, making you stronger for the next phase of your journey.

The essence of "Jo hota hai, acche ke liye hota hai" is about surrendering to the wisdom of life. We may not always see it in the moment, but life has a way of arranging things perfectly, even in the face of adversity.

True Love: Friendship After Attraction

Attraction is fleeting; what sustains relationships is something deeper, friendship, understanding, mutual respect. The foundation of lasting companionship is not butterflies in the stomach, but the comfort of knowing that someone will stand by you through all seasons of life.

The real beauty of life is in embracing every moment, whether it aligns with your desires or challenges them. If it happens as you wish, wonderful. If it doesn’t, even better, because something greater is unfolding beyond what you can see.



People who show courage, they never lose. A ship can never go beyond the shores, if it's afraid from the waves. 

This is such a beautiful thought. Think about it, people who show courage, they never lose, after all you can't be afraid of the waves, because if you are, you will never leave the shore. Why does Harivansh Rai Bacchan say that. If you fear falling, or if you fear failing at something, you will never be able to achieve the things that you desire the most. You can never make a movie, if you are afraid that it will flop. You will never have the courage to love, if you fear heartbreaks. You will never write and build what you are meant to, if you fear the judgement of the world. So fear is an emotion and not a reality. Courage is not about sitting at home and expecting nothing from the world. Courage is going out in the world and fighting for yourself and your loved ones. If you fear anything in life, you should fear not facing your fears. Life is about conquering your fears and not running away. Life is providing and not consuming. Life is about getting about after your setbacks. Life is about facing not running away when things get tough. Life tests you, even the girl in your life will test you. It will crumble you, but then it will make you, you. You will be stronger than before. You wouldn't take things to heart. In fact, you would ignore and learn to move towards your own life and carry yourself authentically in the world. Lehron se Darr car nauka paar nahi hoti. 

All of that is okay, but how do we practically remove fear from our life. They say, face your fears and the death of your fear is certain. Let's take a look at some practical ways now: 

1. Reframe failures as an opportunity to grow:

Every failure in our life is an opportunity to grow. We all think that when we face our fears, our deepest concern is either fear of failure or fear of looking weak i.e fear of judgement. The idea is that if you get rid of this fear of embarrassment for a few moments you will know that you have grown. Anything is better than stagnation. 


2. Take small bold steps every single day: 

Fear thrives in inaction. The best way to beat fear is to take action, even in small steps. 
* Break big fears into small manageable actions. 
* Start with low risk situations and build confidence gradually. 

3. Ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen: Most fears are exaggerated in our minds. Challenge them by asking: 


A. What's the worst that can happen? 
B. How likely is it? 
C. Can I handle it if it happens? 

For an example, if you fear failing at a presentation, ask yourself if people will remember whether I messed up. Honestly, no one really cares. 
.

4. Train your mind to handle discomfort: 


Fearless people don't avoid discomfort. They train themselves to handle it well. Expose yourself to controlled discomfort regularly. Take cold showers, try doing a public speaking course, talk to strangers do something new. 

5. Develop a so what attitude:

Most fears are tied to what others will think. The truth is—people are too busy with their own lives to care about your mistakes.

If someone laughs at you? So what?
If you fail? So what? Learn and try again.
If people judge you? So what? Their opinions don’t pay your bills.

Example: If you fear posting on social media, remind yourself—no one is watching as closely as you think.

6. Stop overthinking and take action: 

Fear grows the longer you think about it. Stop thinking and just take action. That's it. You don't have to worry about anything other than taking action. 

 If you’re afraid to ask someone out, don’t overthink how they might respond—just go for it!

7. Face Your Fears Head-On

The ultimate way to be fearless? Expose yourself to what scares you until it loses power over you.

Public speaking? Speak more often.
Fear of rejection? Get rejected on purpose.
Fear of heights? Climb higher each time

8. Surround Yourself with Fearless People

Confidence is contagious. Surround yourself with people who take risks, challenge norms, and inspire you to be bolder.

Find mentors who push you.
Engage in communities that encourage action.
Distance yourself from negative, fearful people.


9. Accept Failure as Part of Success

Fear often stems from the need for perfection. Accept that failure is normal and necessary for growth.

See failure as feedback.
Understand that even the most successful people failed many times.
Laugh at your mistakes and move on.

Example: Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before inventing the light bulb. Imagine if he had let fear stop him!

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