Breaking Free: Overcoming the Habit of Overthinking

A lot of times we go to a party or at work we go to standups, or we are just hanging out with our friends, and we say something and then realise maybe I should have not said this or done that. But in reality that would be 10-20% of the times and with all honesty the probability of something going wrong will be there for at most 10-20%. That's where I realised the real problem is not anyone but overthinking everything. So what is overthinking in the realest terms, "Overthinking to me is simply when we think about scenarios over and over again and how this thing can go wrong, how that thing can go wrong, how anything in the world can go wrong." But the truth is if you don't do it, you'll never know it as everything that can go wrong, can go right as well. Oxford dictionary defines overthinking as this, "the action of thinking about something too much, in a way that is not useful". It's simply the action of thinking about something too much, in a way that is not useful. That's such a great definition to have. Anyways now let's think about why overthinking is harmful.

This is real, so overthinking really destroys your happiness and your mood. So better to take a deep breath, exhale and have faith. What's meant to be will be. So just have faith, as it kills overthinking. 

Sometimes in life we try to control everything, we try to control situations that are out of our hand. For an example, the traffic you face while going to the office is not something in your control and there's nothing that you can do about that traffic. So let go of the need for control. Sometimes you don't have an answer to every feeling or a situation, but that's meant to be, you wouldn't have all the answers to everything. You are supposed to learn it while being on the journey. There might be more ambiguity one day, but that's what they say, you have to jump when it's scary. Trust your gut and know that everything will work out exactly the way it was supposed to be. Worrying about circumstances does not help, but acting on the controllable helps. So work on the controllable, seek truth and jump into unknowns anyways. That's the part that helps you grow, not overthinking. 

This is the great Napoleon Bonaparte, arguably the most successful French emperor of the time. He said this in the 18th century, you have to take time to deliberate, when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in. This is the mindset we need in today's world. Go for it. If you think about an example here, let's say you are going in for a war as a soldier, you take your time to plan and how you will attack the enemy, defend your post, but when the time for war has arrived, you need to stop your thinking and respond to the enemy according to your plan. A similar thing goes for cricket, football or any strategic game, where you need to strategise exactly what you need to do in the cricket field, but when the time for action has come, there's no time to wait but implement your strategies. When the practice time is there, you need to be practicing and not thinking about the practice. So any skill in life comes from doing, whether that skill is cooking, playing cricket, dancing or just writing code, all of these skills comes from doing, going wrong and then correcting yourself. Even public speaking is a skill that comes from practice and doing, not by thinking about what can go right or what can go wrong. 

This is wonderful, they say that you have to put your energy more on what you really want to do. It's easier said than done, but let's say you are having a boring Saturday or a boring Sunday, don't get too sad about the fact that the Saturday is boring do something about it. Go out, talk to people or just go out for a run. Go to the gym. Go Shopping, whatever it is that you really can do about that, do it. Don't think what will happen if .... , just go do it. That's all you need to worry about, doing not thinking about doing. 

Now all that is good, but how do we really stop overthinking? So here are some practices that we can follow to avoid overthinking. 

1. Stay in the present: This cannot be emphasised more, I know I say it all the time but the truth is the past is gone, it does not exist anymore, it only exists in your mind. The future is going to come based on how you act in the present. We cannot think too much about the future and worry about it. So all we have right now, is the present, this very moment, in fact the these moments are also becoming a thing of the past. What I like to imagine is there are some thorns behind me and if I think about my past those thorns will hit me. So that eventually makes sure that I stay in the present with ease. 

2. Let go of perfectionism: Sometimes in life, we want everything to be too perfect, good or bad, we want things to go perfectly, we want things to go in a certain way, we want to win every game and tournament, but in reality that's simply not possible, sometimes you win games, sometimes you lose games. Trying to be perfect leads to overthinking. 

3. Gratitude: Today the problem is, because of social media, all we focus on who's doing what, who has what, or look how other people are enjoying, this will stop you from thinking what you already have. You have a wonderful family, you have a wonderful job, a wonderful friends, etc. So why not focus on what you have and let go of what you don't have. Because life is not perfect and there would be things in life that you don't have no matter what. So better focus on what you have and live with that. 

4. Stop consuming too much content: The reason a lot of us overthink is because we have a lot of content that we consume. On instagram everyone is either going to New Zealand or Australia, some people are going to Europe and some people are travelling the whole of India. I mean let's stop there and think how is that helping you. Itna he hai toh khud ek trip plan karo na, duniya ko kyun dekhna hai? 

So all in all don't overthink and make your gratitude list and focus on what you have. Life will be a little more easy ! Finally, remember overthinking like any other thing is just a bad habit, it does not go away in one day but deliberate practice will help you eliminate overthinking a lot easily than anything else would. So go ahead and stop overthinking, consume bullshit media, and anything that really harms your well being.