I am not sure what I am going to write about, but there's something that happened in my personal life and I was like why is this affecting my professional life. In fact the problem that happened was not even in my personal life, it was in someone's life that I can't even solve. A feeling of helplessness seeped in, I was thinking maybe I can do something to solve the problem, but honestly, I just can't do anything. People do go through emotional problems and there can't be any logical solution to an emotional problem. An emotional problem can be solved only through emotions. But honestly, you just have time that will eventually solve that problem. I personally cannot do anything and change anything there, the sooner I accept, the better. Yes, I can give a listening ear and funny joke, but other than that, there's nothing much. Which makes me come back to the same topic of controlling what you can but we have already spoken about that previously. Maybe it brings me a fresh range of thought, that controlling what you can is not always easy, but still that's the only thing we can do. There's patience as well that can be learnt but there is emotional control as well. So what I would really talk about is emotional control, we cannot give our emotional remote in the hands of someone else. It is us and only us that can dictate emotions, they say happiness is external, no it is genuinely internal, yes there are things that can affect you but happiness at the end of the day is just a choice. So now let's go with certain quotes that tell us how to control our emotions.
One thing is that many a times we give the power of manipulating our mind, feelings and emotions based on how other people perceive us. But the truth is in order to really have emotional control, you should not care too much about what the world thinks. Yes, you should have your decency but caring too much about other peoples opinions is not the best thing to do.
This is also very interesting, if you carefully read this, each moment is a choice. No matter how frustrating, boring, constraining or painful our experience is we can always choose how to respond. Basically, responding is something that we need to take care of. For an example, you might lose a near or dear one, the pain is immense but deciding how you respond is something you can control. What this quote particularly tells us that choose to respond not to react. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can always control on how to react.
This is equally beautiful, it says that if you don't have emotional abilities, that is you don't have the self awareness to manage difficult emotions, if you don't have empathy and effective relationships, it genuinely would not matter how smart you are, how technically intelligent you are but if you do not have emotional intelligence you are not going to be as successful as you think. So even in order to be successful you have to control your emotions. But honestly, the way we are talking is so not practical, but what are some genuine and more practical ways to control your emotions?
1. Mindfulness and meditation: One of the reasons we lose emotional control is we are either in the past or in the future with our mind. But all we need to do is to be present where you are at that very moment. That's all there is to life. If you are present and aware enough, you will be aware about when your mind goes to the future and you will also be aware about when your mind goes into the past. So practice meditation in order to focus on the present and be mindful of where you are at a particular moment.
2. Deep breathing: Whenever you feel stressed, or you feel out of control, try to take in a few deep breaths and see what happens. You will immediately feel in control, a little more relaxed and even possibly happier. So it's the simple things that you can do to control your emotions. For example, you feel fear, just take a deep breath and tell yourself it's going to be okay. If you feel anxiety, it means you are stressing about the future, take a deep breath, and focus on the present on what you need to do right now.
3. Grounding techniques: This is not something that's my stuff, but there's a 5-4-3-2-1 technique where you have to focus on 5 things that you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Thus using all your senses and giving yourself more chances to bring back to the present moment.
4. Progress over perfection: I believe emotions burst out when we try something too hard, there's frustration but remember what matters in the long run is progress, worry about progress, talk about progress and don't worry too much about the perfection. That will certainly help you control your emotions better.
5. Comparison: In today's life, it's very easy to get on to comparing every little thing we have with our friends, relatives and sometimes even family. But remember comparison will never take you anywhere, yes you want to be motivated to earn money, but you don't want a goal like I want to earn more money than X, your goal should be I want to earn abc amount of money this year. Not relative to anyone, but relative to yourself. Relative to how much you earned in the last year. This will help you stay away from feelings of jealousy and insecurity.
6. Social Connections: When things go bad or rough, it's important to build your social connections in a way such that the people in your life will help you when things go bad and rough. Having good social connections also helps you to be happy in life. Yes you would not be happy all the time, every single day, but spending time with the right people will make you happy.
7. Set boundaries: It is not all about making social connections, it's also setting the right boundaries so that only the people you want can come into your life. You need to say no to people some days, and you need to surround yourself with supportive people in life. Not negative people who try to suck the life out of you, but supportive and positive people.
Anyways this is all about emotional control for the day. I don't want to write a very big blog today as I am a bit tired myself, but my next blogs are going to be better and much more interesting with practical strategies. Thank you and have a wonderful rest of the day.
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