Why People Feel Dissatisfied: The Role of Wanting vs. Having

I was wondering recently about why people are so dissatisfied with their lives, and their ways of living. What is it that makes people go bitter? What is it that causes anger in our lives? What is it that makes people feel sad? Why do people go wrong and how can we improve on that? As I was wondering this, the only thought that came into my mind was the fact that people think about what they want more than about what they have. People feel bad when they don't have something far more easily than they feel good about having something. For an example, you might have a great relationship but won't have too much money, or you might have too much money but you are completely single, imagine what it does to your mind, you start focusing on the lack of a relationship or a lack of money and start wanting that more. I am not saying that wanting more is a negative thing, what I am trying to put out is that always thinking about wanting more is a negative thing and never thinking about what you already have is a negative thing. 

Be more grateful for what you already have and see how those things multiplies in your life. For an example, if you have a job, have a decent salary and have a few friends be grateful for each of these things.

The first step is we need to acknowledge the good you already have in your life. That will form your basis of all the abundance. For an example, think if earn let's say 5$ a week, you might say that's too less, but even if you acknowledge the fact that you earn at least 5$, you are putting yourself in a position that will help you multiply that 5$ into 10 and then 20 and 40 and so on. But the first thing is you need to acknowledge that you at least have 5$. Similarly, with relationships, you have to acknowledge the wonderful family that you have, the education that your family has provided you with and the life that your family has given you. That will be your basis of all the other relationships, friends, family and even boyfriend/girlfriend. But if you do not acknowledge that, then there's no place for other things in your life. 

As I said, being grateful for the little things in our life is very important. Every little thing in your life, you should be grateful about. For example, you need to be grateful for the people in your life, the money in your life, the health and the fitness that you currently have. Be grateful for the smells that you can smell. Be grateful for the air you breathe. Be grateful for the morning sunshine you see, the smile on your neighbours face, etc. You can be grateful for anything and literally anything in your life. Take a look around you and I am sure you can be grateful for the chair that you sit on and also for the table where you read on. The home that you stay in and the food that you eat. 

This is literally beautiful, it's not how much we have but how much we enjoy that makes happiness. When we lose ourselves in the world of comparisons, it's very natural to think about what we don't have rather than thinking about what we have. If we have 100$ we would want 200$ and if we have 200$ we would want 400$. But have you thought about what you can do with those 100$, or what you can do with those 200$, money in reality is simply an exchange of value. When you provide value for something, you also demand that value back in money. That's all money is. Yes, there would be days when things go wrong, there would be days when you don't feel happy, but that's okay. Everyone has those days. But we need to enjoy what we have and that makes more of happiness than always chasing more. 

Gratitude opens the door to the power, the wisdom and the creativity of the universe. Interesting, let's logically dissect this thought. Why does gratitude open the door to power? When we feel grateful we naturally feel that we have everything in the world and we intend to give rather than want. This makes us feel more powerful in a way that we have something to offer to the world. Secondly, when we are grateful we feel more confident about ourselves as well, we feel that we can achieve any goals, and we can be more resilient in the face of failures. 

So let's think about why is gratitude so important? 

1. Enhanced Relationships: When we feel grateful we naturally start seeing and acknowledging the contribution of others. This is much important because through this we recognise the importance of others in our lives and thus deepening our relationship and bonds with others. This fosters mutual respect and deeper connections. 

2. Enhances Emotional Well Being: When we are grateful for the little things in life we start recognising and appreciating all that we have rather than cribbing and complaining about what we don't have. This does shift our attention away from what we don't have and helps us focus on what we have. 

3. Reduces Stress: Feeling grateful for what we have means that we start reducing stress as well. Naturally we are not worried about what we can get from the world but we focus our energies on what we can give to the world. Thus gratitude does reduce stress on ourselves and imparts happiness in the lives of others as well. 

4. Enhances Physical Health: They say that when we feel grateful we are also able to sleep better and with a happy state of mind. When we sleep better we naturally feel better physically. Moreover stress reduction in turn benefits our physical health as well. So all in all gratitude reduces stress, it improves sleep, sleep improves mood and good mood means happiness. 

5. Self Esteem: When we are grateful we also improve positivity and self-esteem in our lives. We start by focusing on what we have and this limits comparisons with others. You know what happens when we do not compare ourselves to others we increase our self esteem. 

6. Unlocks Potential: When we are grateful, we start having different perspectives of life. We recognise and appreciate our own strengths and which in turn reveals our own unique talents and gifts. Gratitude will help us to see our own worth and thus leverage it for our personal growth and achievement. 

So this is one of those things, where if you practice gratitude everyday, your life will change for the better. You can't even imagine how good your life can get if you practice gratitude everyday. 

Now I encourage you to practice this gratitude exercise daily and in fact you can do it at any time and anywhere whenever you want. Just make a mental list of all the things you are grateful for in your life. In your relationships, at work or even anything in your personal life.