Where Muscles Tear, Character Grows

Well, it's quite an interesting thing out here. I went to the gym yesterday. Once I went to the gym, one of my favourite things to do is to exercise in silence. No distractions, just pure you and the gym. Silence. Difficult, uncomfortable, but worth it. So, silence is quite an important part of our lives. I was in the gym, and I was working out I was speaking about how to do a certain exercise with someone. This someone who was all ripped, and strong and muscular, I was like how do you even get there? He said that he was 145 pounds as well, and with time his weight grew, and he became somewhere around 180-190lbs. The growth in his weight was simply due to the fact that he went all the way to the limits. He spoke about how important it is to train till failure, or else your muscles will not grow. In fact, his thought process was that when you break your muscles only then it will grow, else it won't. He also spoke about nutrition and how to keep training even on the days you don't feel like doing. In fact, doing it when you don't feel like counts the most for consistency. 

What is this blog going to be about? I am going to talk about hard things. You have to do the hard things in life to be successful. It's about pushing yourself till failure. The more I try to think about this thought process of pushing yourself till failure, the more I realize that failure will break you down but in order to build muscles you have to break down your limits. It's those last reps when you feel like giving up, that's when you push the hardest. I learnt life is also like muscles; in order to build you up, it first has to break you down. That's beautiful. Personally, for me as well, something did break me down. But that's where things started to make sense. I was in a phase of life, where something broke me down emotionally. That's where I decided that's it, no one is going to break me down any point in my life. In fact, it was hurting, but well, that's exactly where you should go. The hurt feels tough in the moment, but you will recognize that it was that hurt that will build you up. When a woman tries to pull you down, she is not actually trying to pull you down, rather she is trying to test your strength to the fullest. 

Why to push yourself to failure: 

I am sure there's a difference between pushing yourself to failure and failing. When I say push yourself to failure, you can try this at any place. You can try it in the gym. You can try it in your career. Well career, really how? If you are working deeply in code for a period 1 hour at a stretch, go and do 2 hours. It will give you pain; it will give you hardship but be there. Stay there till the last moment. That's where you will learn a lot of self-control. We are creatures of habit. So, the more we try and fail, we will be able to someday recover and make our muscles grow stronger. What about self-control, what's pushing yourself to the limits when it comes to self-control, have your tongue under control, have your life under control, don't get trapped in your bodily urges, don't watch the girls online, all of them is a trap. The moment you realize that lust is your greatest enemy, your life will never be the same. You are not always fighting the world; you need to first fight with yourself. Now what's pushing yourself to the limits, I am personally, very keen to understand the world of self-control. 

Self-control is the greatest strength a man can have. I was wondering, how can one truly develop self-control? My answer is practice. Just like any other skill, the way to develop self-control is practice. The more you practice self-control, the better you get at it. For an example, you can practice self-control by making sure you don't move from a particular place for 1hr. You can practice self-control by being comfortable with silence. You can practice self-control by making sure, you are doing only one thing at a time. What you want to be as a man is provide stability and not chaos. I am sure we all want fun and happiness, but we also want stability. We also want to make sure that the structure remains intact, irrespective. What we need is depth, you can also practice self-control by sitting for 2 hours and reading. You can practice self-control by going to the gym and resisting your urges to watch social media. Self control is about choosing the long term rewards instead of short term pleasures. 

Are we becoming too robotic through self-control? 

Now a lot of times we feel guilty that we went to Garba. We went and played games. We did this and that. This is life. The truth is you will feel guilty on certain occasions. You will feel like you are wasting your potential. But rather than treating your fun time as guilt, treat them as a way to get fresh and rejuvenated. In fact, do your work in the morning and go play and have fun in the evening. Break down your day so that when you know you have done your work, you will be able to have more fun while partying. So, work hard, party harder, is the way to live imo. Secondly, try to go and do things that you really enjoy. For an example, Garba is something that I enjoy. Cricket is a rejuvenating activity for me and that's the reason I do it. It's about choosing the right reason. The other thing is when people have birthdays, I can't really go everytime to people's birthday's. I don't enjoy that. But it's a cake cutting ceremony, I can't help but attend, I go. But I also make sure, my work is done. Only then I can enjoy guilt free. 

So when you attend Garba, be fully there in Garba. When you work, you will be fully there at work. That way you will be able to find the right sort of happiness through work and through.

Self-control will naturally make sure, you don't need any validation: 

A lot of times we speak for validation. A lot of times we want to sound intelligent. A lot of times we want to do things out of impulse and validation. For an example, you might want to put out a post on social media and get validation for that. I have been there, not that I haven't been. But when you practice self-control, you will find more depth. You will not be doing certain things for validation. But you will be doing things purposefully. You will speak with more depth and purpose. That way you will find more success in your life too. Depth is success in my opinion. Not any external rewards. 

Self-control is also a lot about internal strength. What we want as human beings is we want to strengthen ourselves internally. Not externally. Internal strength eventually follows the external part too. 

Self-control gives you happiness: 

When you are working towards your goals and having a structure in your life, you will feel happy. You will feel like you are moving towards something. That's the way to be happy in life. When you feel successful, you will naturally attract more success as well. Remember the idea of self-control is practice. So go ahead and do a lot of practice. Do vipassana meditation. 

Practical ways to increase self-control: 

1 hr of meditation: 

I feel like this is tough, but when you stick around for a period of 1hr just focusing on your breathing, naturally you will feel great. 

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