Is entertainment good or bad?

A day that started with Kvizzing with all stars. I usually don't think entertainment is a good option for morning time. But well, it happens. Trying out new things in morning gives us a way on what not to do. Although kvizzing is a good show, but it's not something you should watch in the morning. Yesterday, on the other hand, what I felt was after a productive day, like I went to the gym, I did certain exercises, I wrote a blog, I felt good about it. Recently, I found the joy of reading. Moreover, watching video entertainment like Kvizzing is not bad, as it exposes you to the ideas of certain books like the great Gatsby and just in general the idea about the world. My question is how much of our day should be reading or video entertainment and what part of the day should suit the best for each of these activities? Are we Tanmay Bhatt or Gaurav Kapoor, I think it's their profession to be a comedian. Our profession is something else. They do their work, the earn their money and then they leave. However, what matters more for us is what we produce. 

The eventual goal of our life is to become an expert in software or something of that sort right. The truth is watching kvizzing in the morning does not really help us move in that direction. I am sure there are people who enjoy watching tv shows as well. However, I like reading books and let me be that way. It's the silence of books that really helps us. The right things are those things that help you move towards your goals. Anything else is simply a distraction. 

So let's come back to the right things: 

1. Fitness: 

2. Software

3. Relationships

4. Self-care + Personal Growth

Now let's simplify our lives with the right things. Fitness is when you are reading about fitness, watching fitness videos or you are simply doing workouts. That bucket can be maintained as it is and you can move that in the right direction. Similarly, software is reading about software, writing about software, creating software, or just watching videos about software.

These 2 blocks are fairly simple to handle. The next block relationships, in my opinion is slightly complicated. How do we maintain good relationships? What does it take to maintain good relationships? While I am not a phD in this. But keep in touch with a few friends. Most likely 4-5 friends that are good and you think will bring will value. All the rest 20 or 30 friends are of no use. They can be fun, but will they help you grow? Moreover, I am sure there are videos about relationships and relationship coaches that you can lean on about. Because I am not sure what is the right way to maintain and manage these. We can lean on for external help like books or videos on this topic. The fourth topic is self-care + personal growth. This can include anything, just reading something like a classic like Great Gatsby is personal growth. Spending time to understand your skin care routine is self-care. We as men, keep this in the bottom of the category list. However, it's quite important. It helps you in multiple ways. Moreover, Journaling would be another self-care or a personal growth category. Facing your fears would be another one. Choosing self-care and personal growth will help you in the long run for sure. My point out here is that you have less important activities in your life than you think. 

It's also important to hone your social skills every now and then. That's why you can keep practicing social skills when you are out in a mall, going shopping, eating food or whatever your idea of socialisation is. I think socialising is also an important thing that you need to learn. Knowing how to work with people is also a skill and it's important. I ask you to design certain practices to do that. For me personally, I like socialising when there's an activity involved. Like watching a movie, or eating together, playing board games, or simply playing cricket together. A lot of our socialising can take place from that area. It's easy to do and fun to do as well. Even in the gym you can socialise. Even in the library you can socialise. Any social situation you are uncomfortable in, go there deliberately. And to me more often than not, if you stick there for the first 15 minutes, your mind will go silent and calm. You will be able to be there comfortably and you will be comfortable in the silence. The silence won't be awkward but rather more fruitful. 

My point out here is you should somehow find a way to do all of these things. It's important from a perspective of life that you are an expert in your career but you are a fun person in personal life. Tough to strike a balance but we need to find a sweet spot out there. Masculinity in general is a lot more related to self-control that is relaxed. Not the one that is rigid. It's the constraints that will help us be more carefree. The carefree attitude is realised when you do the things that you have always desired to do. Lean into the edge of your fear. Now the question is that everything should have its own purpose. When I go to best buy, it's not that I do not have a purpose, rather I do have a purpose which is to go there and buy a phone or smart watch. Similarly, the purpose of a vacation is to have fun. It should be structured and disciplined. There needs to be boundary around which we need to live in. I also think that the more you watch video entertainment the more you look out for entertainment outside of you. Remember you yourself can have a lot of fun by yourself. 

The game of momentum is such that if you watch tv for an hour, you will feel like watching more. If you read for an hour, you will feel like reading more. If you write for an hour, you will feel like writing more. It's about the first 15 minutes resistance that you have to get through with. Like I said, masculinity is about self-control. But it's also open. It's fearless. While fearless does not mean going and doing anything. You can be fearless and free by going and doing irresponsible things. You can be fearless and free by chasing girls. You can be fearless and free by drinking alcohol without constraint. Or you can be fearless when it comes to the disciplined pursuit of your goals. You can be fearless in going after what you want, still understanding that responsibility comes first. You can be fearless by being irresponsible or fearless acknowledging the boundaries of responsibility and the structure around life. 

To try explaining you in simpler terms. Fearless is when your score is 0/0 and you try to hit a six for the first ball and get out. Reckless is when you have lost 3 wickets for 0 runs, 0/3 and now you try to hit a six on the first ball and get out. Understanding the situation of the game is extremely important. Fearless can be threatening your manager to leave the job if not promoted when you have the second offer in hand, reckless can be threatening your manager to leave the job. While I know it's not the best example, but you get the point. Men should be fearless but not reckless. Within the boundaries and structure of responsibility, you should be fearless. 

You can choose to be completely responsible for your own life or you can say this was not there and that was not there. I am sure there are external circumstances but the truth is you are still the most important person of your life and you need to decide your life path better than anyone else. So go ahead and plan your day to the point that there's no point in doing things right or left. If you like going out, plan that. If you want fun time, plan that. Plan. Plan. Plan. 

I want to leave you with some practical tips: 

1. The "Deep Work" Morning Protocol

As noted that Kvizzing in the morning felt like a mismatch. This is because the morning is when your "willpower battery" is at its peak.

• The "No-Input" Rule: For the first 2–3 hours of your day, avoid passive video entertainment. If you need input, choose the "silence of books" or technical documentation.

• The Big Rock First: Spend the first 90 minutes on your hardest Software task. Momentum is real; if you start with code, your brain will want to stay in "producer" mode rather than "consumer" mode.

2. Master the "First 15 Minutes" of Resistance

As mentioned that after 15 minutes in an uncomfortable social situation, your mind goes silent. This applies to everything: writing a blog, hitting the gym, or reading a difficult book.

• The 15-Minute Timer: When you feel resistance to a productive task, tell yourself: "I only have to do this for 15 minutes." Usually, once the timer goes off, the momentum you mentioned has already kicked in.

• Social Exposure: When you go to a library or a mall to practice social skills, give yourself a "15-minute floor." You aren't allowed to leave until that time is up. This forces your nervous system to regulate.

3. Categorize Your Social Circle

As "4–5 friends" rule is essentially the Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) applied to relationships.

• The "Growth" Tier: Identify those 4–5 people who challenge you or offer value. Schedule regular, high-quality time with them (e.g., a monthly "deep dive" dinner or a shared fitness goal).

• The "Activity" Tier: For the other 20–30 friends, only interact through shared activities (cricket, board games, gym). This fulfills your social need without the "drain" of aimless hanging out. It keeps the interaction structured and disciplined.

4. Build Your "Fearless" Safety Net

To be fearless without being reckless, you need a foundation that allows you to take hits.

• Financial/Skill Leverage: Being "fearless" with a manager requires having a "Freedom Fund" (savings) or a high-demand skill set (Software expertise).

• Weekly Review: Every Sunday, spend 20 minutes "Planning, Planning, Planning." When your week is mapped out, you don't have to use mental energy to decide what to do next. This is the self-control that is relaxed, you are free because the decisions are already made.

5. The "Entertainment as a Reward" System

Video entertainment like Kvizzing or movies isn't the enemy; timing is.

Sunset Entertainment: Use video entertainment only after your "production" goals are met. It becomes a tool for decompression rather than a distraction from your goals.

Sitting with discomfort is a skill that you need to practice. For me silence was discomfort. For me breathing was discomfort. Once you become a master of sitting with discomfort and doing nothing about it, life will be different.