Stillness living in a world of chaos

The morning. The morning. The morning.

Without a doubt, morning is the most important time of the day. It sets the direction, either gently or chaotically. Most days, I don’t use my phone after waking up. But today was different. After socializing the previous night, I reached for my phone in the morning.

And I felt it immediately.

Scrolling turned into indulgence. Instagram turned into images. Images turned into restlessness. Lust crept in. Not acted upon, but stimulated. And that stimulation left a residue.

The more we indulge, the harder it becomes to come out of it. That’s why I believe in minimal indulgence.

Phones don’t just waste time. They leak energy.

Phones, Stimulation, and the Cost of Indulgence

There’s a subtle chain reaction that’s easy to miss.

Phone leads to lust.
Lust leads to anger.
Anger leads to greed.
Greed leads to inner destruction.

Once you lose your inner ground, everything becomes shaky.

The phone creates a parallel world. A world built on assumptions, projections, and highlights. It is not reality. Real life has suffering and blooming happening quietly, without an audience.

That’s why reading feels different. Reading grounds you. It returns you to reality. Replace phone time with reading, and you will feel the difference almost immediately.

A Practical Rule: Schedule Your Distractions

One solution I strongly believe in is containment.

Decide clearly.
7:30 to 8:00 is phone time.
No phone outside that window.

When distractions are scheduled, they stop leaking into the rest of the day. The nervous system relaxes because it knows indulgence is allowed later.

What I truly want in life is simple.
To breathe.
To be calm.
To not be affected by YouTube, Instagram, or the phone.

Coming back to the process again and again is the real work.

Silence, Social Skills, and Balance

While silence is essential, complete withdrawal is not the answer. Social skills matter. We must still go out, talk to people, and live in the world.

But the phone is different. The phone is often an escape from reality.

The antidote is simple but uncomfortable.
Keep the phone physically away.
Start with 30 minutes.
Let the discomfort arise.

Then choose.
Reading.
Writing.
Learning something new.
Sitting in silence.
Mindful breathing.

Silence calms the nervous system. And when the nervous system calms down, planning returns.

Stillness and Masculine Energy

Stillness is deeply nourishing for a masculine mind. The best way to practice stillness is to be still.

At the same time, men carry a lot of energy. That energy wants movement. That’s why the gym works so well. It allows controlled release. It grounds the body and prevents restlessness from leaking elsewhere.

Stillness does not mean suppression. It means regulated energy.

The Question That Changed Everything

A question hit me recently.

Stillness is great. But what about places like shopping malls?

In a mall, everything is moving. People are selling, buying, rushing. I suddenly felt lost. No plan. No direction. My confidence cracked. I started sweating.

That’s when I realized something important.

Stillness without orientation becomes paralysis.

A calm man would not panic in that situation. He also would not freeze.

What Would a Calm Man Do in a Mall?

A calm man would:
Walk slowly
Look around
Enter a store without urgency
Talk when useful
Stay silent when unnecessary
Leave when done

No internal commentary.
No pressure to optimize the moment.

Calm is not inactivity.
Calm is unrushed movement.

The Key Shift: Stillness to Orientation

Stillness needs an anchor.

Simple anchors work.
“I’m just exploring.”
“I’ll walk for 10 minutes.”
“I’ll check two stores and leave.”

This creates direction without pressure.

Think of stillness like an engine at idle, not the handbrake.

You don’t need the full plan. You only need the next 10 minutes.

Grounding: The Forgotten Skill

If there’s no plan, ground the body.

Feel your feet.
Stand still for 10 minutes.
Let the world move around you.

There is immense power in grounding your feet. You do not need to know everything. You only need to know the next left or right turn.

Life is navigated step by step, not all at once.

Practical Tools for Stillness in Chaotic Places

1. Anchor the Body First

Drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Exhale longer than you inhale.

If the body is calm, the mind follows.

2. Slow One Thing

Walking pace. Hand movements. Response time.

3. Carry a Low-Stakes Intent

“I’m just observing.”
“I’ll stay for 10 minutes.”

4. Practice Neutral Presence

You don’t need to look confident, busy, or social. Neutral presence preserves energy.

5. Speak With Internal Permission

Respond, don’t react. Speak slowly.

6. Use Environmental Stillness

Edges. Walls. Quiet corners.

7. Normalize Not Knowing

“I’m allowed to be undecided.”

Indecision with calm is strength.

8. Use Micro-Exits

Leaving early is self-regulation, not weakness.

9. Shift to Sensory Awareness

Sounds. Colors. Feet on the ground.

10. Redefine Strength

Strength is staying internally intact while the world rushes.

Final Reframe

Stillness is not about escaping the world.
It is about not being pulled by it.

Imagine standing still at a busy crossing. Cars rush past. People hurry. Noise surrounds you. But your feet are planted. Your breath is slow.

You do not need to stop the traffic.
You only need to stand where you are.

When the moment opens, you take the next step.

That is not passivity.
That is sovereignty.