Listen to understand not to respond

Today, I’m sitting at a Starbucks not because it’s quiet, but because it isn’t. I wanted to think in the presence of noise and see whether something meaningful could still emerge. The theme I want to explore today is simple, yet difficult to practice: listening more than we speak.

The reflection began with a line inspired by the Bhagavad Gita:

“When your intellect is no longer disturbed by the noise of opinions and remains steady in inner stillness, then you will attain true wisdom.”

There is something deeply grounding about this quote. It immediately forces a question: how much of my thinking is actually mine?

Noise and Opinions

Most of our judgments are not born in silence. They are shaped by what people say, what trends reward, and what opinions are repeated often enough to feel like truth.

We live in a world powered by Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, platforms built on opinions. This is good. That is bad. You should read this. You should watch that. The volume never drops. And slowly, without realizing it, our intellect becomes reactive rather than reflective.

The real danger is not disagreement. It is disturbance.

When the intellect is constantly disturbed by opinions, it loses its ability to see clearly. We start asking, what will people think or how will this be perceived, instead of asking what we actually believe.

Wisdom does not disappear in such moments. It simply gets drowned out.

Remaining Steady in Inner Stillness

“Remains steady in inner stillness.”
What a rare and beautiful state.

Inner stillness is not accidental. It is practiced. It is the ability to sit with yourself without needing stimulation, validation, or approval. It is the discipline to work for an hour without checking what the world thinks of you.

Stillness can look like focused work.
It can look like watching your breath.
It can look like being alone and being content.

The paradox is this: the more you want attention, the more noise controls you. We live in an attention-driven economy, and craving validation pulls us directly into the chaos of opinions. Inner stillness begins the moment you want nothing from the world and choose to give instead.

Stillness Is a Way of Being

Stillness is not silence you announce. It is silence you embody.

It means becoming steady enough that praise does not inflate you and criticism does not break you. People will advise you. People will judge you. Some will be jealous. Some will misunderstand you. None of that needs to disturb your inner balance.

Being still does not mean being passive. It means being rooted.

You continue walking your path, guided by your values and your intellect, not by the loudest voice in the room.

Even here, sitting in a Starbucks, surrounded by movement and distraction, I notice how difficult this is. The temptation to observe others, to break focus, to drift is constant. And that’s precisely why stillness matters. It is not proven in quiet rooms. It is proven in noisy ones.

What the Bhagavad Gita Teaches Us Here

The Bhagavad Gita makes a clear distinction between noise and knowing.

Opinions are not truth. They are echoes of restless minds. When we allow them to dominate us, we give away our inner authority. We outsource our thinking, our values, and eventually our sense of self.

Inner stillness is not indifference. It is clarity.

A steady intellect listens without being possessed. It observes without immediately agreeing or resisting. In that space, understanding arises naturally.

True wisdom, the Gita suggests, is not accumulated by collecting more viewpoints. It emerges when the mind becomes calm enough to see reality as it is. Just as muddy water clears when left undisturbed, the intellect reveals truth when it stops churning.

Clarity Is the Goal, Not Building Walls

The goal of stillness is not withdrawal from the world. It is clarity.

When we lack clarity, we build walls: defensiveness, rigidity, emotional reactions. When we have clarity, we don’t need walls. We move with direction. We respond instead of react.

Clarity begins with knowing what matters. Clear goals create direction. Direction quiets the mind. And a quiet mind naturally becomes still.

One of the simplest ways to experience this is through physical grounding. When your feet are firmly planted on the ground, your body sends a signal of stability to the mind. It is difficult to be restless when the body feels rooted. There will be moments when stillness feels impossible. Those are precisely the moments where grounding matters most.

Stillness does not mean life will stop testing you. It means you stop being pulled apart by every test.

Listen to Listen, Not to Plan a Response

Most people are not listening. They are waiting.

Waiting to respond.
Waiting to correct.
Waiting to impress.

While someone is speaking, we are already rehearsing our reply. In doing so, we miss the essence of what is being said.

Listening, in its truest form, requires restraint. It asks you to be comfortable with silence, with pauses, with not immediately asserting yourself. Often, the wisest thing you can do while someone is speaking is nothing. Just listen.

You don’t always need to respond. You don’t always need to add value verbally. Sometimes presence itself is enough.

A simple practice:
When someone speaks, let your only job be to understand them. Nod if needed. Maintain eye contact. Allow silence after they finish. Speak only when clarity, not impulse, calls for it.

This kind of listening builds trust, deepens understanding, and most importantly, strengthens your inner stillness.

Because when you stop rushing to speak, the mind learns to rest.

Practical Tips to Listen More and Stay Still

1. Pause Before You Speak (3-second rule)

When someone finishes speaking, pause for three seconds before responding.
This:

• Prevents reactive replies

• Forces real listening

• Signals calm confidence

Stillness begins in the pause.

2. Listen to Understand, Not to Win

While listening, ask yourself:

“What is this person really trying to say?”

Not:

• How do I respond?

• How do I sound smart?

Understanding dissolves noise.

3. One Opinion Fast

Pick one day a week where you:

• Avoid social media opinions

• Don’t read hot takes

• Don’t argue mentally with strangers

Notice how quickly the intellect settles when opinion intake drops.

4. Silence Block (Daily)

Schedule 15–30 minutes of intentional silence:

• No phone

• No music

• No podcasts

Just sit, walk, or breathe.
This trains the intellect to remain steady without stimulation.

5. Speak Only If You Add Value

Before speaking, mentally check:

• Is it true?

• Is it necessary?

• Is it kind or useful?

If not, silence is wiser.

6. Anchor in Values, Not Validation

Write down:

• 3 values you will not compromise

• 1 direction you are committed to

When opinions come, ask:

Does this align with my values?

If not, let it pass.

7. Absorb Praise and Criticism the Same Way

Treat both as data, not identity.

• Praise → don’t inflate

• Criticism → don’t collapse

Stillness is emotional neutrality with awareness.

8. Deep Work = Listening to Yourself

Block 60 minutes where:

• You work on one thing

• No switching

• No checking

This is listening inward instead of outward.

9. Reduce Verbal Output

Try this experiment:

• Speak 10–20% less in meetings or conversations

• Observe more

• Intervene only when necessary

People often respect the quietest person in the room.

10. End the Day With One Question

Before sleep, ask:

“Where did I react instead of listen today?”

No judgment. Just awareness.

Final Reminder

Stillness is not weakness.
Listening is not passivity.
The calmest intellect in the room often sees the farthest.