Minimize attachments

Happiness does not come by maximising our possessions, but minimising our attachments. This quote, is not mine. But this to me is a beautiful quote, I want to expand this from a practical standpoint though. What do we really mean by maximising our possessions and why does happiness not really come from that. Why is it that happiness comes from minimising our attachments. It's a beautiful thought. Let's go through each topic one by one. 

Maximising our possessions

Our possessions can mean everything. Suppose if we believe that we possess a particular person, or a particular thing, that in our head is a possession. Money is also a type of possession. Don't get me wrong, utilising money in the right way is not possession, and by any means I am not saying don't earn money. What I am trying to say is earn money but don't be attached to it. Be loosely coupled to all of these things if I had to say in technical terms. Maximising possessions, can also mean that you are strongly attached to girls in your life, female attention in general makes you feel good. That I believe is a type of possession. Although, not actual possession, because after all they are human, but the fact that you are attached to it, is a possession. Sex I would say is a materialistic possession, again, nothing wrong in having it, it's a very practical biological need. Moreover, it is what allows our species to survive and that's the reason of the pleasure. I am particularly attached to my phone, my smart watch and a lot of times I get a sense of uneasiness if I don't see it close to me. Especially when I am looking at my phone while I am working, I have a habit of keeping an app called forest on. It gives me the comfort of working for 30 minutes before taking a break. I think the app is brilliant. But what I am trying to say is that is also a possession. I am not strongly attached to it, but it is a possession. 

When we base our happiness on our possessions, we don't become happy. However, think money in terms of financial freedom, think being attached to health and smart watch as longevity freedom, all of these things matter. So when I say happiness is not linked with possession, I believe there is a very fine line to distinguish what really creates happiness. Money creates financial freedom which when used efficiently, creates a lot of happiness. Money can be used in order to donate to cancer survivors. Money can be used for the education of your child. That to me is beautiful, utilising money in the right form. That is happiness and has a strong linkage to happiness. Any sort of relationships, they are not creating happiness directly. Yes they might create something that creates happiness in directly and that is connection and laughter. That is created with relationships and that is great. So let's think of possessions as a form of creating happiness rather. Not as the root of happiness.

Minimising attachments

Today you might be attached to success. You might be attached to girls. You might be attached to materialistic things. You might be attached to your home. All of this, are attachments. Now the reality of this study is not to scare you and say all of it can be taken away from you, but in truth it is possible. The probability is less, but it is quite possible. But they can't take away your knowledge, your understanding of life, and your ability to rise to the challenges of life. Those create happiness. Being attached to girls will make you feel less of freedom that you want to feel. After all, for men, freedom is happiness. That's why we men like cars, bikes, road trips, etc. Why because it is a form of freedom that we want to experience. We also feel extremely strangled when we are confined to one place, one location, one area. It's important to travel and get world view from different things in life. But minimising your attachments. Don't be attached to success or failure. Yes work hard towards making sure that everything that you do is successful but becoming attached is not good. 

After all, in order to be truly happy, you need to have a lifestyle that contributes to the life of others as well. That I believe is a very important part of happiness. But if you stick to this thought of me first, me this, me that, you won't be contribute enough to the world. Remember, you are here to create value. To generate value and make things beautiful in the world. You are here to centre yourself with contribution and not with consumption. You are here to give and not to take, because in minimising attachments we give easily. With the giving, we get everything that we ever wanted. So I really recommend you to minimise your attachments. 

I want to tell you some practical tips and have a thought about the practical tips myself. But let's think through this first. 

Practical Tips: Minimising Attachments Without Renouncing Life

1. Convert Possessions Into Tools (Not Emotional Anchors)

Before using or buying anything, ask:

“What function does this serve?”

  • Money → freedom, security, leverage

  • Phone → communication, execution

  • Smartwatch → health feedback

  • Relationships → connection, growth, joy

The moment something starts serving emotional regulation (“I feel anxious without it”), you’ve crossed from usage into attachment.

Practice:
Occasionally remove the tool.

  • Leave your smartwatch at home for a day.

  • Keep your phone in another room while working.
    Not as punishment—just to check: “Am I still okay?”

If peace disappears, attachment exists.

2. Detach Identity From Outcomes

Work hard. Care deeply.
But do not tie self-worth to results.

Replace this:

“If I succeed, I’m valuable.”

With this:

“I am valuable because I show up fully.”

Practice:
At the end of each day, measure success by:

  • Did I focus?

  • Did I act with integrity?

  • Did I give my best effort?

Not:

  • Was I praised?

  • Did it work?

  • Did I win?

This keeps ambition strong and suffering low.

3. Reframe Money as Flow, Not Storage

Money creates stress when treated as something to hold, not circulate.

Practice:

  • Allocate money intentionally:

    • Living

    • Saving

    • Investing

    • Giving (even small amounts)

Giving, even modestly, breaks emotional attachment. It trains the mind to trust abundance instead of hoarding.

Money that flows creates calm.
Money that clings creates fear.

4. Reduce Attachment to Validation (Especially Romantic)

Enjoy attention. Appreciate attraction.
But don’t outsource your emotional state to it.

Practice:

  • Notice emotional spikes after validation.

  • Notice emotional dips after silence.

Then ask:

“Why does this control me?”

Anchor self-worth in:

  • Discipline

  • Skill

  • Health

  • Personal standards

When validation becomes a bonus instead of fuel, freedom returns.

5. Schedule Solitude (Not as Escape, but as Training)

Attachment thrives in noise.

Practice:

  • Walk without headphones.

  • Eat one meal a day without screens.

  • Sit quietly for 5–10 minutes with no input.

This trains the nervous system to be calm without stimulation, a powerful form of detachment.

6. Travel Light, Mentally and Physically

You already understand this intuitively.

Practice:

  • Declutter regularly.

  • Avoid over-commitment.

  • Say no without explanation.

Less obligation = more freedom.
Freedom = mental clarity.
Clarity = happiness.

7. Practice “Lose It Mentally”

This is not pessimism, it’s resilience training.

Practice:
Occasionally think:

“If this disappeared tomorrow, would I survive?”

Not with fear, but with confidence in your adaptability.

This reduces unconscious clinging and increases inner strength.

8. Replace Consumption With Contribution Daily

Every day, ask:

“What did I give today?”

  • Help someone

  • Teach something

  • Create something

  • Listen fully

Contribution shifts attention outward.
Attachments shrink naturally when purpose expands.

9. Keep One Non-Negotiable: Growth

The safest thing to attach to is growth.

  • Skills

  • Health

  • Character

  • Understanding

These cannot be taken away. They compound. They travel with you.

Attach to becoming capable.
Detach from needing outcomes.

Final Thought

Minimising attachments doesn’t reduce joy, it purifies it.

You still enjoy success.
You still love deeply.
You still want things.

But none of them own you.

And that is where quiet, durable happiness lives.

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