Insecurities

 Here I am writing again. I was a bit tired today and watching sports is also quite not the best thing that I should be doing. I know for a fact that in today's world a lot of things can take our attention away but it's okay. It's okay for the attention to go away if it comes back. Today, I am trying to think what to write. I wanted to talk about how insecurity and attention really matters. For an example, when I was doing nothing today, I was just feeling insecure. Insecure of the way I look, insecure of the way I dressed, insecure just in general for no reason. We all have insecurities, sometimes about our body, sometimes about our dressing sense, sometimes about acnes, sometimes some other fragile things in ourselves. 

I want to tell you the reader, that you know what, it's okay to be insecure. It's okay to feel insecure of yourself. In today's generation there are many ways to numb your insecurities, through youtube, through netflix, through scrolling instagram. It's not scrolling, it's avoidance of a problem that you have in yourself. So be insecure it's okay to be that. The fact that you are facing your insecurities head on, tells me more about you. It tells me that you are okay to be with discomfort. A strange set of discomfort always heals you. It tells you that you know more than what you think you know. I was feeling insecure after I came back home. I wanted to do something but didn't know what exactly to do. But today, I know, there are times when I feel insecure. But you know what I do, whenever I feel insecure, I turn and tune into my own creative channel. It does not numb me. It makes me a better person. I can stay with the problem rather than finding a way to escape it. You might be sitting next to a girl and you can feel insecurity. It's okay. In fact, that's the only way to growth. It's through pain and discomfort. I don't say don't be happy. Do your stuff, be happy, but make sure you are away from the addictive cycles of this society. Build a body of work in your field. Build a great body as well. Play your favourite sports. All of these are things that heal. 

My question today to the reader is that, what do you do when insecurity hits you? Do you try to stay with it or just try and escape the situation as fast as possible. What I want to tell you is that you should stay with your insecurities. It's the only way to become a better version of yourself. You should go into situations where you fear. It's okay to be disliked. You don't always have to be performative infront of other people. You are okay being you. You are okay being quite on days when you don't feel like talking. You are okay the way you are. Remember it's a process, and processes do take time. But the right process will generate the right results. 

Today also right after I started cooking, I felt less focused about my own insecurities. I was absorbed in the process of cooking food. I was absorbed with what exactly I can make with the ingredients I have. So one way to be really good with insecurity is to sit with it. Feel the hurt and then get back to work. Know that insecurities happen for a very good reason. Sometimes they might be good, sometimes they might demand work on your behalf. For example, if you are feeling insecure when a girl walks in, it's because of your need for approval. Don't worry about the approval, talk to everyone the same way you would to the girl. So the other thing is don't try and speed up something that you should not be speeding up. It's okay to go slow. I know I take a lot of my lessons from pickleball, but let's pause here for a moment, pickleball is similar to life. Sports is similar to life. But it's not the real life. Real life has much or many more obstacles. We have to be accepting of the reality and the obstacles of the reality. I know one thing, you have to go out. Go out of your house so that you can face your insecurities head on. You are here to become the better version of yourself, so be yourself and be you. You are the best when you are who you are and no one else. No one laughs like you, no one smiles like you, no one plays like you, no one studies like you do, so you know what, you are unique, beautiful and intelligent, handsome everything that you ought to be, you already are ! Have a wonderful day or night or afternoon, okay whatever !